Sex.God. - Chapter Six: Worth Dying For

I'm not sure that any of the flannel graphs I witnessed being crafted in my years in Children's Church ever drew me closer to God. Yes I was taught the basics of the Bible [including a catchy song to memorize the books of the Bible so one could quickly flip to a particular book and avoid looking like a "Sunday Christian" as the preacher spoke on Sunday mornings], but I was rarely exposed to the fundamentals of loving God and loving others. I wasn't quite sure what my life should really look like when putting that into practice. Instead I knew more of what my life should NOT look like. Sure I had a checklist including "quiet time" [I always despised our time with God being called this as if we should all uniformly label our encounters with God], tithing, and inviting friends to church, but I never quite got it. I knew God loved me, but for a long time I never really understood how or why he loved me. My years of exposure to "flannel graph Jesus" created this feeeling of disconnect within me, and for a long time I found it extremely hard to relate to God in any real way.

It was the summer after my freshman year in college when something clicked for me. I embraced God's command for us to submit to each other out of "reverence for Christ," and in doing so I began to feel more connected to God than I had ever felt before. My pursuit of becoming more like Christ was drawing me closer to God than any prolonged gaze at "flannel graph Jesus" or "quiet time" had ever brought me.

And that is what this chapter was about.

Of agape love Bell writes: "Agape is a particular kind of love. Love is often seen as a need, something we get from others. Agape is the opposite. Agape gives." - "Agape doesn't love somebody because they're worthy. Agape makes them worthy by the strength and power of its love. Agape doesn't love somebody because they're beautiful. Agape loves in such a way that it makes them beautiful."

Intentionally and habitually embracing this kind of love is life changing. It can not only change your life as the love giver, but it will undoubtedly change the lives of those to whom you show love. Bell writes: "What if that woman, the one with the husband who constantly disappoints her, what if she treated him as if he already were the man she wishes he was? What if she agapes him exactly as he is today, with all of his flaws? If you are him, which is more motivating: being reminded of all of your failures and shortcomings, or being loved as if you're a great man?"

Agape "affects how we live, how we act, how we think about ourselves." Because when we learn to agape others, we suddenly recognize how deserving we are of the same type of love. We better understand how God loves us, and we seek out the agape in others. As a girl, I know I have settled for much less than agape love in relationships in my past. In order to feel validated and wanted, I have negotiated and bargained and accepted false forms of love. But as I've journeyed toward becoming more like Christ through the spreading of agape love, I've become more adept at recognizing agape love in an attempt to avoid falling for those who only offer a counterfeit.

I offer the same encouragement to women as Bell when wrapping up this chapter. He says: "Your strength is a beautiful thing. And when you live in it, when you carry yourself with honor and dignity that are yours, it forces the men around you to relate to you on more than a flesh level. You are worth dying for."

With his deep, abiding love for us Jesus proved on the cross that I am worth dying for. You are worth dying for. Love is worth dying for.

[agape] LOVE WINS!