Sex.God. - Chapter Two: Sexy On The Inside

MySpace and Facebook [aka MyFace] are arguably two of the most popular websites among twenty somethings. Millions of people advertise themselves using flattering photos while feigning interest in trendy hobbies. They do so hoping to connect. Some aim to connect with old friends while others are seeking attention from anyone willing to send some their way. The truth is we're all looking to connect, regardless of whether or not we use "MyFace" to do so. Although our society provides us more ways than ever to "connect" with others, it seems as though we're becoming increasingly disconnected.

Adam and Eve were the first to experience disconnection. Their disobedience created a disconnect between themselves and God, as well as in their own relationship. We experience the same disconnect in our lives today. Bell claims our sexuality is "all of the ways we strive to reconnect with our world, with each other, and with God." Essentially, he uses sexuality and connection as synonyms. He's not speaking of the physical act of sex [which often leaves those using it improperly feeling deeply unconnected] since that is merely an example of how we express our sexuality or desire to connect. In fact, Bell says some of the most sexual people he knows are celibate. The people he speaks of have chosen to abstain from the physical act of sex and instead have "chosen to give themselves to lots of people, to serve and give and connect their lives with beautiful worthy causes" and as a result connect with people on a intensely intimate level.

Bell goes on to describe ways in which disconnect can occur in relationships: "When we hurt each other, when we gossip about each other, when we fail to forgive each other, when we don't do the work of making peace with each other, we get severed from each other, cut off, divided." This disconnect can occur when friends feud or when a spouse refuses to forgive. Bell goes on to say that "perhaps we should call this what is it: sexual dysfunction." Often times disconnect occurs between, or because of, people who aren't satisfied with who they are. People who cannot accept where God has them or what God has given them. And until you are at peace with who you are in relation to your creator, like Adam and Eve you will continue to experience disconnect.

In response to her young son's inquiry of what "sexy" means, Bell's wife answered: "Sexy is when it feels good to be in your skin. Your own body feels right, it feels comfortable. Sexy is when you love being you." And that's where it starts. You must be sexy on the inside. Discover who you are and what you love about yourself. You must embrace your sexuality [or desire to connect]. Because you have to connect with yourself before you can be successful at connecting with others.

So, next time I beg for "sexy time" [thank you Borat] with you, don't mock me! I'm only looking to connect!